PUMP-OCALYPSE: The Pump Is The Cure

This article is about the PUMP. By the time you reach the end, you will know the pump’s benefits, what products to take to achieve maximal pumps, and a 5-day workout routine designed specifically for all you “pump chasers” out there.

More importantly, you will learn about the future. Specifically, a post-apocalyptic dystopian future where the PUMP is critical to your survival.

Statistically speaking, a zombie apocalypse is out of the question. It’s far more likely we’d deal with lack of resources, nuclear war, etc. But perhaps there’s one apocalypse that’s been overlooked…

Welcome To The Apocalypse, Where The Pump Is Everything

 

The year is 2072. No one knows how civilization ended. How everything went grey and ash consumed the sky. It probably had something to do with tantrum-prone world leaders who refuse to fight their own wars and bicker like 6-year-old boys “My nuke can beat up your nuke! No, my nuke can –” whatever. Civilization ended. The world is not far behind.

The 40 billion tons of pollutants that plague the air have depleted the population. In the first year, we lost 54%.

Many that didn’t die became infected. They were named Flatliners. They are recognized by their flat muscles, sallow skin, shirts that hang to their depleted physiques like old drapes, and back pockets that have no peachy glutes to adhere to. Flatliners are always dehydrated. Their veins are clogged — viscous and slow-as-sap blood flow. As such, they feed on human life.

With the addition of the Flatliners, the apocalypse has stolen 81% of the population.

 

But a few years ago, we discovered a safeguard against the blight. It was found thanks to a common link those immune to the blight shared — fitness. Bodybuilders as well as athletes of every sport — except powerlifters — were unaffected. Even cross-fitters kipped their way in.

Scientists performed studies. The findings? Each group regularly experienced the PUMP.

What Is The Pump?

Before the Cormac McCarthian apocalypse, the “pump” was a term known only to those already inducted into the fitness lifestyle. When the word was used outside of such circles, it was often met with blank stares or worse, eye rolls.

You see, back in those days, it was commonly believed that the pump was something valued by “bros,” “gym rats,” “narcissists,” and other such pejorative terms assigned to anyone who cared about their physiques — and physical performance.

We couldn’t blame anyone for these misconceptions, of course. The media portrayed fitness buffs as oafs, mindless meatheads who couldn’t articulate a stylistic sentence. And people simply listened. It was what they were trained to do.

That was what the major media sources, bought and paid for by lobbyists, wanted back then. If they could dupe the masses with smaller lies, it made it easier to slide catastrophic lies right under noses. They had all the resources and skills to propagandize heroism in war and minimize the environmental impact of things like:

• Nuclear War
• Coal plants
• Climate change
• Burning down the Amazon
• Pesticides

But this isn’t about how the apocalypse happened. It’s about the safeguard known as the pump — and the synthesized antidote, PUMP-OCALYPSE.

Pump: noun — When blood flow is increased and directed into a specific muscle grouping. It occurs during exercises, such as performing barbell curls for high repetitions. The Pump is what’s responsible for muscles looking fuller during workouts as well as increased visibility in veins. Makes you look “swole.”

Benefits Of The Pump

If you’re reading this, you likely already know the benefits of the PUMP. But this is survival we’re talking about here. I want to make sure you’re prepared. Not just for the apocalypse, but for making the most of life pre-apocalypse.

As such, I will divulge the benefits of the PUMP for both pre and post-apocalypse.

Benefits of the PUMP	Pre-Apocalypse (Today)	Post-Apocalypse (Fiction: 2072)
Fuller muscles: Muscles are enlarged when filled with blood, making them appear larger.	Seeing muscles at their largest size benefits the psyche. Convince the subconscious that you’re growing, and eventually, your body will follow.  Reference: Reticular Activating System (RAS)	Terrify the Flatliners. They cower in the face of the PUMP
Mind-Muscle Connection: The ability to effectively recruit desired muscle fibers (as opposed to accessory muscle fibers), the mind-muscle connection has been shown to play a role in muscle growth.(*)	A key component in successfully utilizing the mind-muscle connection is visualization. The better the PUMP, the easier it is to visualize the growth of working muscles — duh.	Recruit the necessary muscle fibers to do what’s needed for survival. Like swinging a baseball bat into the face of a Flatliner.
Epic Aesthetics: We refer to this as veinity. A combination of veins and being vain. Clever, right?	Benefits are nearly limitless. Whether it’s improved self-confidence, better moods, or attracting that non-gender specific individual you’ve had a crush on, epic aesthetics always come in handy.	Take your role as leader. Those with elite aesthetics are more likely to be respected and listened to. So long as you have the other necessary skills like brains, noble heart, etc.
Improved Blood Circulation: Blood circulation has to do with how effectively your heart pumps blood to tissues such as the brain and muscles.	Improving blood circulation means better nutrient uptake. Better nutrient uptake means quicker recovery. Quicker muscle recovery means GAINZ.	Life gets cold in the apocalypse. Poor blood flow means cold nights. And worse, if your mate wants a warm body and that’s something you don’t possess, well…this is survival, fam. More importantly, sometimes you’ll have to think quick — say, when you get ambushed by Flatliners — and if blood isn’t flowing effectively to the brain, those thoughts might not fire as fast as you need.

Bucked Up & The Synthesized Pump

Those are awesome benefits, sure, but how did those athletes survive? Immune or not, they still would have had to worry about other logistical issues.

Apocalypse or not, once you’ve tasted those sweet gains, there’s no going back. They boarded the windows of gyms. It’s there that they banded together to forge a post-apocalyptic fit fam. These are base camps. Safe havens. Fortresses of therapy, gains, and preemptive attack on the airborne diseases that dwindled the population.

As far as food goes…duh. Meal prep.

And since you obviously can’t have fitness without supplements, manufacturing facilities and warehouses became imperative to survival. The most reputable of all the supply caches — a company known as Bucked Up — found a way to synthesize the pump. Their invention is heralded as the antidote. Its title is PUMP-OCALYPSE.

The next step in ensuring the survival of mankind was delivery. To succeed, Bucked Up scoured the wastelands in search of men and women crazy enough to brave the hostile landscapes that reside between the sparse domed in facilities and government no infection zones. It took years. But the end result was worth it. Bucked Up had their special forces.

And we call them…The Couriers.

They are the elite. The insane. The pump addicts.

PUMP-OCALYPSE: Antidote Description

 

There has been much dispute as to whether to keep the antidote’s formula secret or not. But we’re all in this together. Knowledge is power and such power is critical to survival. 

PUMP-OCALYPSE is formulated to enhance every workout. A blend of nitric oxide boosters — Citrulline, Arginine, and Agmatine — helps relax blood vessels and increase blood flow.* This allows more blood to reach the muscles.* 

Betaine Anhydrous and GlycerPump increase cellular hydration to ensure your muscles are receiving as much of the nutrients they so desperately need to reach their full size.*

Most pump products work only on improving your pump — surprise. Not PUMP-OCALYPSE. Because we understand that to thrive in modern-day life you want all the strength gains, and in the apocalypse …you don’t just want strength. You NEED strength. We add in PeakO2, which has been shown to increase power output over time.*

PUMP-OCALYPSE Ingredients

GlycerPump (Glycerol Powder 65%): GlycerPump is a patented supplement that causes Hyperhydration in the blood and tissues. Hyperhydration = better endurance and better pump*

L-Citrulline: Considered the king of nitric oxide boosters L-Citrulline helps relax blood vessels and boost nitric oxide levels in the body.* When blood vessels and arteries are relaxed, they are more efficient at pumping nutrients into the body (the muscles in particular).

Peak O2 Blend: Scientifically developed blend of mushroom strains shown to improve performance and power output.* 

• These mushrooms are powerful adaptogens — a natural substance that help athletes adapt to physical and mental stress.* 
• Contains high levels of what’s called a “master” antioxidant. Helps fight oxidative damage.* A decrease in oxidative damage* = faster recovery, ability to train longer.*
• Peak O2 can also improve oxygen uptake and oxygen utilization.* 

Arginine HCL: By now, you probably know what L-Arginine is, but in case you don’t. It’s a non-essential amino acid that improves blood flow.* Arginine HCL is the hydrochloride salt form of L-Arginine. 

Agmatine Sulfate: * A supplement with extensive scientific studies backing it, Agmatine is a naturally occurring derivative of the amino acid Arginine.

• • Blood flow — pump*
  • Can help improve testosterone*
  • May help ease aches and pains*

Betaine Anhydrous: A compound derived from choline — a compound that plays several roles including brain and nerve function.*

• • Can increase power output.*
  • Optimal cellular hydration.*
  • Increased energy levels.*

Rules For The Apocalypse

 

Now that you know the apocalypse’s backstory, how to recognize Flatliners, what the pump is, the benefits of the pump,  information about the antidote (PUMP-OCALYPSE), you are almost ready. We have a few more things to go over to ensure you thrive, though.

1. Get a pump
2. Keep a pump
3. Eat quality nutrients — found by scavenging 
4. Drink Exogenous Ketones for stim-free, endless, clean energy*
5. Get another pump
6. Keep pump
7. Only use the best pre-workouts
8. Always carry a set of dumbbells (so you never have to go without a pump)
9. Never leave home without PUMP-OCALYPSE
10. Equip your weapon of choice
    1. If you use a gun, always be sure to have a melee weapon handy
    2. A Wakizashi is a fantastic sword, but don’t overlook blunt objects (e.g. aluminum baseball bats or police batons)
11. Don’t trust someone without a pump 
    1. These cowards have survived through conniving, nefarious actions
    2. You know their names (Flatliners).
12. NEVER trust someone with a pump — you don’t know their kill count, but it’s high. These individuals are the elite. You know them as The Couriers.

Your Survival Guide (The Workout)

Since so many of the apocalypse rules revolve around getting a pump and keeping a pump, it’s only fair that I provide you with workouts that are geared toward delivering you an unreal pump. 

However, since strength gains are also important — especially in an apocalypse — every one of these workouts will begin with an exercise geared toward getting stronger through progressive overload.

CHEST WORKOUT

Flat Press Rest time: 2-3 minutes	2-3 warm-up sets 1 set of 6-8 reps (until failure) 1 set of 4-6 reps (until failure)
Incline Press Rest time: 2-3 minutes	2-3 x 6  (+3 drop sets)
Cable Crossovers Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
Dips  Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
DB Flat Press Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
Pec Dec Fly Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20

 

BACK WORKOUT:

Underhand Lat Pulldown Rest time: 2-3 minutes	2-3 warm-up sets 1 set of 6-8 reps until failure 1 set of 4-6 reps until failure
Cable Row Rest time: 2-3 minutes	2-3 x 6 (+3 drop sets)
Wide Grip Lat Pulldown (or Pull-Ups)  Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
Bent-Over Barbell Row Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
DB Pullover Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
DB Single Arm Rows Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20

 

DELT WORKOUT

Overhead Military Press Rest time: 2-3 minutes	2-3 warm-up sets 1 set of 6-8 reps until failure 1 set of 4-6 reps until failure
Machine Lateral Raise Rest time: 2-3 minutes	2-3 x 6 (+3 drop sets)
Pec Dec Reverse Fly Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
DB Military Press Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
DB Lateral Raises Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
Cable Upright Row Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20

 

ARMS WORKOUT: SUPER-SETS!

Cable Guillotine Curls Cable Triceps Pressdown Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20 4 x 12-20
DB Hammer Curls Overhead Triceps Extension Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 8-12 4 x 8-12
DB Incline Curls DB Incline Skullcrushers Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 8-12 4 x 8-12
Machine Preacher Machine Triceps Extension Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20 4 x 12-20
Straight Barbell Curl Barbell Skullcrusher Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20 4 x 12-20
Rope Curls Rope Triceps Pressdown Rest time: 30-60 seconds	4 x 12-20 4 x 12-20

 

LEGS DAY!

Lying leg curls Rest time: 45-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
Back squats Rest time: 45-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
Leg Extensions Rest time: 45-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
Front Squats Rest time: 45-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
Seated Leg Curls Rest time: 45-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
Leg Press Rest time: 45-60 seconds	4 x 12-20
Walking Lunges Rest time: 45-60 seconds	4 x 20-30

 

Only one step left. Equip yourself with the perfect stack to succeed in these workouts. And, of course, get yourself some PUMP-OCALYPSE. Because obviously, you want the antidote. This is the apocalypse, after all.

Lucky for you, the supply cache (Bucked UP) has a ridiculous deal going on.

• Spend $50 — receive a Pre-Workout Variety Sampler (1 BAMF stick pack, 1 WOKE AF stick pack, 1 Bucked Up stick pack)
• Spend $100 — Free Flag t-shirt
• BEST DEAL: Spend $200, and the Couriers will deliver you the antidote (PUMP-OCALYPSE) for FREE. That’s right. Survival. For FREE. Just order over $200 worth of epic products.

Here’s how to take advantage of this deal. Click this link, stock up, then enter code: PumpGift at checkout. Check out the best supplements for strength and size.